Old Feelings Die With Autumn
by Alexandrite-Raven
Summary: The sequel to With Spring A New Life Begins. Berwald's life gets complicated when a man from his dream steps into his life to become his gardener. Will Berwald fall in love, will Desiré leave him? A whole new season of trouble is coming into his life and Berwald isn't sure if he can handle it. M for later chapters.
1. The New Beginning

Chapter 1 - The New Beginning

Berwald walked into the house, not saying a single word, he went straight into his office and locked himself there. Desiré stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

"Yes. Well... um... I'm Tino." The small Finnish man said.

Desiré smiled and asked _Tino_ to come in. She was awfully suspicious now. The gardener looked as if he was terribly confused and maybe even a little scared, but Berwald looked like he just saw a ghost of someone he was sure to be dead; he just left them rapidly for no reason. How did he know this man's name? What made him react that way? She asked the gardener to sit down in the living room while she went to make some coffee. While the water was boiling, she ran to her husband's office to drag him out of there and to the living room.

"What the hell was that about?!" She screamed as quietly as she could.

"I d'n't know wh't yer talkin' about" he said, pretending to be working.

"Fine. You don't want to tell me now? Well talk later. Now get your ass up and go the the fucking living room, I'm not doing this by myself." She was seriously pissed off.

Berwald got up and walked to the living room, staying silent. He sat in front of Tino and smiled a little. The man in front of him returned the smile but he was obviously stressed, maybe even scared. Maybe Berwald was hallucinating, but it looked as if Tino was trembling. Desiré came with the coffee and they started talking. Before they said anything about the work, Berwald introduced himself and quickly explained that Tino looked like someone he once knew a very long time ago. Tino and Desiré both nodded, though Desiré didn't look too convinced.

They've spend a good hour talking about the plans for the garden, prices, work hours, before going out to the actual garden. Tino looked as if he was having a heart attack, since he has not seen a garden in this state ever before in his life. The small man literally fell on his knees before a dead rose bush and nearly broke down to the point of crying. He started shouting out things like "how can you be this cruel" and "you're both so heartless" for about ten minutes, before he calmed down and apologised for his behavior and went back inside with Berwald and Desiré.

Once everything was settled and established between them, Tino left. Berwald was staring at Tino's butt and hips while he walked out the living room, unfortunately for him, Desiré noticed that. Berwald walked upstairs and into the bathroom to take a look at Tino while he was leaving. Desiré came upstairs quietly; Berwald didn't notice.

"BOO!" She screamed down her husband's ear.

Berwald jumped and screamed a little too in surprise. "Um... I was just w'shin' my h'nds fr'm goin' out to the g'rden."

"Washing them in air while looking at our gardener? The sink is on the other side and your hands are dry" she pointed out while taking his hands in her own.

"Sorry. He just really rem'nds me of s'meone" he said, looking down to the tiled floor.

"Reminds you of whom?"

"An old friend of mine" he said.

"How come I don't know him?"

"T'was bef're we met." He answered before walking out of the bathroom. "Ya d'n't trust me?"

"I do, sorry" she smiled gently and hugged Berwald.

Desiré went downstairs to cook lunch for them while Berwald flopped on the bed in their bedroom. The old forgotten feelings from his dream he forgot about were back. He closed his eyes and all he saw where those images from the dream, the images of Tino's naked body. The memories of their passionate nights came back to him. Before he knew, he was hard, so hard it was uncomfortable. He quickly went to the bathroom and few seconds later, he shot his load into his hand. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, not even to himself, but he knew, that this was the best orgasm he had in months. It's not like Desiré can't satisfy him; she can and she does. However, this, this was something different, felt more like his first orgasm ever than anything else, like everything before now wasn't the real thing. He quickly cleaned the mess up and sorted everything the way it was before.

"Ber! Lunch is ready!" He heard his wife call from downstairs.

He ran down quickly and sat in the kitchen while Desiré served lunch. "Here you go love" she said, placing the plate in front of him and kissing his hair at the same time.

"Th'nks" he smiled and kissed her gently on the lips before digging in.

Desiré was a great cook, and that was one of the things Berwald really loved about her. She sat down next to him and started eating too. "What were you doing upstairs?"

"Just r'laxin'" answered Berwald somewhat truthfully.

"Okay" was all she said before she continued eating.

About twenty minutes later, after they finished eating and Berwald finished washing the dishes, Desiré spoke again. "So, just a friend, huh?"

"Wh't?"

"The gardener reminds you of just an old friend?"

Berwald stayed quiet for a few seconds. "Ja" he finally answered.

"Is that why you kept staring at his ass while he was walking around the garden?" Desiré wasn't looking at him, just staring at the TV blindly.

Berwald staid silent for good five minutes. "Answer me!" She finally snapped.

"I'm sorry" was all he said.

"Why did you look at him that way? Like if you could you'd jump him at any second" she sounded deeply hurt.

"I'm really sorry, Desiré, I d'n't know why I did" Berwald's voice was much quieter than usual.

She sighed loudly and looked at Berwald. "Don't you dare look at him that way again. Understood?"

Berwald nodded and hugged his wife tightly, whispering "I'm sorry" quietly in her ear.

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~Author Notes

Hello~ I hope you all enjoyed this first chapter.

Reviews are love :*

I don't own Hetalia but I do own this story.

~Alexandrite-Raven


	2. Let's Get To Work

Chapter 2 - Let's get to work

On Friday the same week, Tino was going to start work with his new clients. He felt a little awkward going there, after Mr. Oxenstierna was acting weird around him. However, Tino had little choice in choosing who he worked for, hence he had no other option but to get up from his bed and start getting ready for work. He dragged himself out of the comfort and safety of his own bed, and walked slowly, tripping over his own feet, towards the bathroom. After a quick shower and a breakfast consisting of corn flakes with cold milk, he walked back to his bedroom to get dressed.

Meanwhile, Berwald was already up for two hours; he made breakfast for his family and was about to leave the house to drop his sons off to school. Desiré left few minutes before they did, as she worked a little while from where they lived and she was trying to avoid the morning traffic. At 9:30 A.M Berwald was already home, he sat down in front of the TV and turned on the first channel that came to his mind, not really caring what was on it right now anyway. All he could think of was Tino.

All of this was way too strange. A dream that happened many years ago, foretold most of his life. Tino. That was the biggest shock factor. Not only did he exist in the real life, but he was a gardener too and was exactly everything Berwald remembered about him. This couldn't have just been a normal coincidence. It couldn't have been just coincidence, right? However, a loud knock at the front door of his house prevented the Swede from thinking about it any further. Berwald haven't even felt the time flow while he was contemplating the true meaning of all this.

It was 10 A.M and Tino was behind the door. Berwald, although he had a hard time sleeping lately, hence was quite tired, got up quickly and walked up to the door, opening it fast to reveal a slightly nervous little Finn, standing in the cold with a bag, full of small gardening tools.

"Hello" he said shyly, offering a small smile to try and calm himself down.

"H'llo" answered Berwald, moving out of the way so that Tino could come into his house.

Berwald closed the door after Tino and walked after him into the living room. He gestured for the Finn to sit down on the sofa while he went into the kitchen to make some coffee.

"Do ya like c'ffee or do ya pr'fer tea?" He asked while taking out two cups out of the cupboard.

"Coffee will be fine, thanks."

The Swede made two cups of coffee and returned to his gardener. He handed him his cup of coffee and sat down next to him. Berwald looked over at Tino from time to time, smiling at how soft the smaller man's face looked. How delicate his features were; so feminine and soft. Tino felt slight discomfort once he realized that Berwald was looking at him and the way he was doing it too. Although it was much softer and kinder than how his boyfriend looked at him. The one Tino was with always looked at him with lust and overwhelming dominance in his eves, while Berwald's gaze was soft and loving. Even though both men were probably the same hight and strength, Tino felt strangely much safer around the Swede he barely knew, rather than his own boyfriend.

Tino didn't return any of Berwald's smiles or peeks this time, he finished his coffee and got up. "Thank you, sir." Tino smiled politely, got his bag up from the floor and started walking towards the backdoor exit to the garden, aka his work place.

Berwald followed Tino, which made the Finn somewhat awkward again. "Mind sh'win' me wh't ya'll do t'day?" He asked in a tender tone.

Tino only gestured with his hand for the man to follow him and walked into the garden silently. He seemed rather melancholic today, but for a good reason too. There was something that changed in his boyfriend lately, and the small Finn was too scared to talk to him about it; maybe he'll find the courage later.

Tino walked around the garden once, Berwald following close by. The Finn showed him everything he'll do for the next three or four weeks, before there'll be nothing for him to do till early spring hits. Today Tino was going to focus mainly on cleaning the garden of all the dead plants, leaves and twigs that littered the lawn. When the smaller man finished explaining everything, Berwald just nodded and went back inside, leaving his gardener to his own work in peace and quiet.

Berwald started working in his own office, till he got bored and decided that the best thing to do now, is to go up to Peter's room and spy on Tino. Of course, the Swede didn't think that it was extremely creepy to do so, hence after making a cup of Lady Gray tea, he sat by the window and watch Tino work around the garden. After about twenty minutes or so, the Finn noticed the blond man sitting by the window staring at him. Tino didn't look at him directly, he just pretended he didn't notice at all and carried on picking up the twigs and such from the lawn, trying to stay as calm as he possibly could.

_"He's a psychopath... He'll rape me one day, then kill me and burry me in his garden..." _He thought to himself as he fought with his mind not to get the fuck out of here_. "Or he'll kill me first then fuck my corps and bury me... Or not bury me, but cut me into pieces and make me into a meal and serve me to his family or something!" _Tino was trembling by now, he was close to tears and his own thoughts made him sick. He was so taken back with his thoughts of his soon-to-come death, that he did not realize the man in question was gone from his observation point, nor did he hear the footsteps behind him.

Tino screamed and fell to the ground, he had no clue as to what just happened. Was he already dead? No. It certainly didn't feel like it. Berwald came out the house with his thick hoodie and a cup of hot chocolate. He'd set the cup on the garden table, then walked up to Tino and gently put the hoodie on the smaller man's back, the long sleeves going over his shoulders.

Berwald knelt by Tino'd side and gently put his arm around the Finn's shoulder. "Are ya alright?" He asked in a worried tone. "I didn't mean to st'rtle ya." Berwald's voice get even softer and more apologetic, Tino could swear that he heard it crack slightly, as if the taller man was about to cry.

The Finn quickly forgot about all the stupid scenarios his imagination made up about ten seconds ago, as he turned his head to face the Swede. "Yeah, I'm sorry" he said sheepishly.

Tino felt almost guilty for thinking that way about someone so gentle and surprisingly fragile. Berwald really didn't look like it, but he was actually the gentlest, most fragile person ever; really cuddly too, but Tino didn't know that, yet.

Berwald helped Tino stand up and guided him to the garden table where his cup of hot chocolate awaited him. The Swede just sat silently across from Tino and smiled while looking at him drinking his thick, sweet drink. Tino surely felt much more confident and better now. He had no reason to think of his customer in such a way. Unless all this was just a trap and Tino was right about everything, or at least one of his nonsensical, made up, paranoic stories. However, before Tino got a chance to thank the man or say anything, he vanished back into the house and into his office to finish his own work.

Tino worked hard for another two hours and before he knew, his time for today was up. Most of the garden was already clean, except for a small section in the back, which he could finish next week. He packed his gardening tools and went back into the house.

"Mister Berwald?" Tino stood awkwardly in the living room.

Berwald appeared seconds later. "Ja?"

"I'll be going then. I've done my work for today, there's only a small section in the back that needs cleaning. I'll do it next week. Is that okay sir?"

"Ja, d'n't worry" he smiled softly. "And please d'n't call me m'ster or sir, it m'kes me feel old. B'rwald is fine."

Tino nodded and walked to the front door, he opened it and spun on his heel to say goodbye to his customer. "Well then, I'll see you next week, Berwald" he smiled a little.

"Ja. N'xt week" the taller man smiled kindly and watched as Tino walked out the door and to his van.

At the same moment Tino got into his van, Desiré came home. She saw the way her husband looked at their gardener and was already pissed off. "H'llo, love." Berwald said, kissing her cheek gently.

"Yeah... Hi" her tone was much colder than Ber expected and it hit him hard.

"Wh't's wr'ng?" He asked confused.

She slammed the front door behinds her and walked angrily into the living room, leaving a wet, muddy trail behind her. "Why the fuck do you keep looking at him that way?!"

Berwald sighed. Not only did he mop the floor earlier today, but he knew exactly where this was going. About ten minutes later and the Swede was perfectly right about his prediction, this will be another day of heavy, silent, thick tension between them. And another cold and uncomfortable night for him on the sofa.

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~Author Notes

First of all, thank you all for following/favoriting/reviewing on the first chapter. It gave me a tone of encouragement and made me think more about the story line, adding a few great things I didn't think of before.

Sorry for the two day overdue. I had some unexpected things to take care of, hence the delay. And yes, I'll be updating every two weeks.

I don't own Hetalia, but I do own this story.

Please leave a review if you're kind enough, they really help me get through my day, especially now before my second year in college start! Reviews are love!

~Alexandrite-Raven


	3. The Past Never Leaves

Hey lovelies~! This is my early present for all of you for my birthday (25th Oct), so please give me lots of reviews as a present for me :)

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Chapter 3 - The Past Never Leaves

It was the middle of the week when Peter came home after school really happy. He threw his school bag on the floor and ran to the kitchen. He was starving. Two slices of bread with some cheese and ham did the job before dinner. He ran up the stairs, holding something in his hand that looked kind of like a sandwich, that one was for his brother that fell ill during the weekend. Alexander stayed in his room, on his like he always did. Peter came into the room with the thing that was supposed to be a sandwich and a glass of orange juice.

"Here you go" said Peter smiling brightly as he put the sandwich on Alex's computer desk, glass with the juice right next to it. "What you up to?" He asked while he looked at the screen of his brother's computer.

"Thanks" said the younger boy, looking at the sandwich. "Just some... Research" he answered in a very monotonous tone.

"Oh, okay..." said the older boy as he left the room. "Have fun!" Peter ran downstairs, realising he's still hungry and went to the kitchen to make himself another_sandwich_.

A few hours have passed before Desiré came home. Peter was in the living room, watching TV with his papa, while Alexander was still in his bedroom, he hasn't came out even once since Peter's visit. Desiré didn't look too happy already, so Peter hesitated slightly with the question his papa already answered. As always, Berwald wouldn't really let his sons do anything without Desiré's approval. Peter fumbled with the blanket he covered himself with and thought of how to correctly for the question so that his mother agrees what he was going to ask for. After about twenty long minutes, once Desiré was back downstairs after getting changed into her house clothes, Peter worked up the courage to ask.

"Mom~?" Said Peter slowly, wondering if she'll agree or not, or weather it's even worth touching on the subject.

"What is it?" She asked, looking quite relaxed but also tired. Desiré walked into the kitchen to make something quick for dinner, it would probably be frozen pizza again.

"Can i ask you something?" Peter hesitated a little.

"Yeah sure, go on."

"Um.. so basically... I just wanted to ask you.. well..." The boy wasn't sure anymore if he wanted to ask her or not.

"For God's sake Peter, spit it out..." she sighed, sounding quite annoyed as she said it.

"Would you mind if Raivis came over tomorrow?" he didn't look her way, not wanting to see her reaction.

"Yeah sure why not..." She was too tired to argue about it, not really minding him coming over that much either way though.

"For the night...?" He finished his question.

There was a long silent pause before Desiré came out from the kitchen into the living room. "I do mind... He's not staying for the night" she stated, looking quite irritated.

"But why? We're not gonna do anything... just cuddle..." Peter had the expression of a kicked puppy.

"I said no! End of story!"

"Why are you always like this!? Papa never minds my friends coming over!"

"Yes, but Raivis is your boyfriend! I do mind that!"

"But papa doesn't!"

"I have the final word in this house!"

"But-" he tried once more but got interrupted by his mother.

"NO BUTS! NO! END OF STORY! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD ABOUT THIS!" Desiré was really pissed off at this point, not appreciating her son back chatting.

By now Peter had tears in his eyes, he really wasn't planning to do anything with Raivis apart from cuddling and kissing a little. "I FUCKING HATE YOU!" He screamed as he ran upstairs.

"PETER! COME BACK HERE AT ONCE!" she wouldn't allow her son to swear at her.

Desiré was just about to run after him as Berwald grabbed her hand. "St'y" he said in a firm tone, he was getting really tired of his wife's bullshit. "W'll done, great par'ntin'."

She gave him a glare and sat down. "I won't let his boyfriend stay over for a night until he's sixteen" she said, inhaling the air slowly, trying to calm down.

"A'right I'll go t'lk to him" said Berwald as he got up from the couch, letting go of his wife's hand.

Meanwhile, Peter sat on Alexander's bed, crying his eyes out. Alexander did nothing, just looked at his brother and went back to his computer and whatever he was doing on it. The room was dark, the only light coming from Alexander's computer screen, and it began getting cold, seems like Desiré must have forgotten to turn the heating on. Peter shivered a little and pulled his knees to his chest, hugging them. The only thing that Peter could see and hear was his younger brother taping on this keyboard, looking extremely occupied and concentrated with whatever "research" he claimed he was doing. After a couple of minutes, when Peter was starting to fall asleep, Alexander gasped so loudly and suddenly that he startled his brother and make his scream a little.

"Alex! What the hell? Have you saw a ghost or something?" Asked Peter, obviously annoyed.

Alexander looked at him and shook his head, then looked back at his screen. "No, sorry" he apologised, actually meaning it for once. "Come, look at this" he beckoned him to come over to his desk.

Peter did so and looked at the screen. "Wow" was all he could say for the moment. He kept glaring at the screen, not knowing what to make of what he was seeing. "This is weird... really weird. You think we should tell papa?" Peter asked as he looked at Alex.

The younger boy just shrugged. "Dunno" he wasn't sure if it was a good idea to tell him, but also, not telling him could be worse.

At that moment, Berwald walked into Alexander's room and turned the light on. "Hey... Wh't are ya doin' guys?" He asked casually, seeing that Peter have calmed down by now. Bewald walked slowly to the computer desc at which Alexander and Peter were at. He took one glance at the screen and froze. Alexander had only one tab opened, it was Facebook, and on it was a picture from a little more than a decade ago. "Wh'n did ya find th's?" Tears started clouding his eyes, he blinked and wiped them away, looking outside the window, not wanting to look at the screen anymore. "Send it to me Al'x, alr'ght?" The boy nodded and did as he was told by his dad, sending the photo to him. The Swede turned around and left the room, walking slowly into his own bedroom, feeling quite sick, his stomach was turning inside out from both anger and hurt.

Alexander closed the tab and decided it was time for bed, feeling quite bad himself for making this father feel this way, but he also felt really lost and sad, wondering if he still belonged in this family. Peter left the room and went to his own, no one said a single word after Berwald left. Desiré stayed downstairs for another hour or two before she turned everything off and went to her and Berwald's bedroom, by then her husband and sons were asleep. She went to bed quietly and fell asleep too, blissfully unaware of what have happened and the hell that will start in her life very soon.

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Author Notes~

Hey everyone...

Please don't hit me... *hides in a corner*

Alright, so~ I owe you all a huge apology for being away for so long, well over a year actually. So many things have happened in my life that I don't even know where to begin with excusing myself for the massive delay.

So, maybe lets start with the fact that when I updated my last chapter I was coming onto my second year of college, but it turned out that I didn't pass and had to change a college to start over and repeat the year. Meanwhile I was in a long distance relationship, I also got a cat which died 5 months later, my relationship ended after a year, I got a new cat, I passed this year of college and started the second year now... and~ now I'm also moving houses, in between all this I also had my day to day struggles and mild depression which is kinda hitting me again.

If you got this far into reading the author notes, thank you. I'm really sorry for not being around for so long, but I will finish this story and at some point upload a OS Spamano, most likely after I finish this story though.

Please review you like the chapter and feel free to rant about how annoyed you are about the delay.

I can't promise exactly when but I'll see you all soon~ I promise ;)

~Alexandrite-Raven


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